Bob: We need a new initiative in toilet paper. Something that says, "New & Improved" without saying that.
Bill: Something that says we're bigger & better than other toilet paper.
Mary: What if we were to super-size our rolls?
Bob: Yeah, but Legal won't let us say, "Super-size." What says, "BIG," without saying "Big?"
Mary: How about "uber?"
Bob: No, the American public doesn't want foreign languages on their toilet paper. Let's go with "Mega."
Bill: I think we need to spell it out. Why don't we include some TP Math?
12 Mega rolls = 48 lame rolls of our competition.
Bob: Thanks for thinking outside the box, Bill.
[Mary sneezes] Don't mind me. Just feeling a little crappy with this cold. My nose is a bit stopped up.
Bob: That reminds me, let's say "regular" rolls.
Mary: And we don't want to leave out the Squeeze Factor from our past marketing. Think about Mr. Charmin.
Bob: Thanks for circling back on that, Mary. Let's go ahead and slap a bear on there with a giant roll. And make sure he's smiling; really enjoying the TP Experience. What else, team?
Bill: Bears are strong, but we should also say that our TP is strong. In case there's any doubt.
Bob: Not just strong. Stronger than strong...
Bill: Ultra-strong!
Mary: You know what I want in TP? I want to know I can count on it. I want--
Bob: Dependability! Good thinking, Mary.
Bill: And do you think we should go bi-lingual on that concept?
Bob:
Bill: You know, so we're not missing out on our foreign demographic.
Bob: Yeah, go ahead and put some Mexican on there.
Because who wants regular, weak, undependable TP?
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