Thursday, December 30, 2010


This a.m.'s sunrise.
I've had a cascading effect from my OMG-I-hate-desks-Ah-Ha-Moment. And it's this: ACCEPTANCE. I was thinking about how much energy I freed up by just accepting myself for who I am. I stopped struggling and trying to force myself to be something I'm not. Dave Dobson used to talk about holding a beach ball under water. You can do it, but it takes a lot of energy and effort. And as soon as you get tired or change your focus, the ball pops back up to the surface. What would happen if you were to let the ball go?

For me it's translated to having more energy. I've stopped fighting myself and I've noticed that with this new-found acceptance I've also stopped judging myself. It's not right or wrong, it's the reality of the way it is. The next part was a nice surprise: I then extended this acceptance to other people. That takes another layer of tension away. There's a Sufi saying, "If everyone sweeps their own steps, the world would be clean." 
I'm just focusing on my own steps. Another byproduct is that it has freed up the shoulding brain chatter:

I should _____. 
S/he should ______.

 If I feel this good just by accepting myself for my organization style, can you imagine what it feels like for someone who has something heavier they are shoulding themselves about? Ricky Martin comes to mind. Yeah, I know--giant leap. But here's my thinking: he's accepted who he is, and he's being honest with the rest of the world. I haven't read his book, but in it, he reveals he's gay. Quelle suprise. When I heard this I was thinking, "Who didn't know?" And really, what does it matter? But it mattered to him. He has a lot more people to judge him than the average person, as well. And this brings me to my final Ah-ha about acceptance:

When you finally accept yourself for who you are, you let go of the shame. You stop trying to hide that part of yourself in the dark & you allow the light of truth to shine. This is who I am, and it's OK. It takes courage to be vulnerable, because even when you accept yourself, there will still be others who judge you. The difference is that you no longer resonate with the shame.


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