Tuesday, December 25, 2012

A Christmas Pageant Story

Mum & I have been attending a local Episcopal church. On Sunday, there was a Christmas pageant performed by the children. Now, I love any kind of group performances by children. They are cute and funny and unpredictable. This had the usual costumes of curtains and bathrobes. The Angel Gabriel was dressed in sparkley-tinsel wings and Uggs. My favourite part, and the scene that got the biggest laugh was after the birth of Jesus. Now, apparently, there had been some discussion of having a real baby play the role of Jesus. But his parents said that 5 p.m. was his "cranky" time, and they wouldn't want to risk having a squalling Baby Jesus. So, the part of Baby Jesus was played by a baby doll.

As the narrator said, "Joseph took the baby Jesus and wrapped him in swaddling and laid him in the manger," the boy playing Joseph palmed the head of the doll like a football and tossed him into the manger. He then chucked a blanket on top of the doll. This was worth coming to see!

After the play, there was a reception of gluten and sugar in the church hall. My niece Zoe had spotted a friend in the pageant, so she went to say hi. We stayed for a bit, and as I was standing up to leave, I looked down to notice that my zipper had been down for the entire time. Not so embarrassing except that my very-white long johns were broadcasting hello! in contrast to my very-dark jeans. *sigh* Well perhaps nobody noticed. Except.

15 minutes before leaving, I saw a woman choking. I went up to her. "Can you talk?" I asked. I then grabbed her and Heimliched her. In the middle of the room. Now before I am applauded for my life-saving maneuver, I should point out that in my panic, I forgot Part B, which is "Can you BREATHE?" To which she would have nodded yes. She had aspirated some apple cider as I was walking toward her, so no, she couldn't talk.

When I took Zoe back home, I popped over for a quick vizzie with Mum. As funny as my Baby-Jesus-as-football story was, Mum couldn't stop laughing about my fake Heimlich/downed zipper story. Not the entertainment I was expecting for the evening. There's a saying that goes:

Either you have a good experience, or a good story. Either way, appreciate it. 

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