perhaps we begin to notice...
It usually starts with noticing it in others. It's almost a cliche, but Zig Zigler used to say that whenever you point your finger at someone, you have 3 others pointing back at you. Hahaha
I'm going to mention one pattern that is common in so many families: drinking. Dave Dobson used to say that saying "alcoholic" sanitized the person's pattern. He would say, "Well, this patient was a drunk." Because he was. I bring this up because John Morgan did a v. elegant and insightful Grasshopper Note about this topic that went beyond the obvious reasons. He also talked about the role of willpower. If you have been struggling with addressing the pink elephant in the room, this post will remind you of Uncle Bob or Aunt Mary. There's one in every family.
I'm also reminded of a couple quotes from the Open Letter blog post:
Your secrets are transparent. Everyone knows them at some level. Stop hiding.
People who help keep your excuses alive are not true friends.
Clean up your life and let everyone see your light.
And what can you do as you go into the family drama? Something different. Namaste.