Mum post

Mum told me she has something BIG in the crawlspace under her house. It chewed a hole through the access door outside. She closed the door and blocked it with a brick but the Creature moved it. She said it was scratching against the plumbing panel in the hallway. So she has blocked it from coming in!

Take that! Hairy Beast!

I was there on Saturday & it was running under the house. We've narrowed it down to groundhog, opossum, or raccoon. Whatever it is, it sounds BIG!

We spent the afternoon together and then I got back home on Saturday night. I downloaded my pix onto her computer & sent them to myself so that I could do some blogposts. I managed to escape before she printed out the Washington Post crossword puzzle.

I called her when I got home, an hour-ish later. I may have mentioned Crossword Hell with Mum before. Just for the record, I'm not a fan. Crosswords require an auditory skill that I don't possess. But every once in a while Mum asks me a question & I know the answer. And then begins the badger-festival-of-words. So now I have a rule: only one question.

Mum: You'll know this; it's a Seinfeld question.
Me: OK, I prolly do.
Mum: What does Jerry say when he's angry?
Me: Newman!

She begins sweetly enough, but then here it comes:

Mum: NO! It's 6 letters and it goes blank-blank-blank-H-blank-blank.
Me: Well . . . I dunno, then. That's what he says. And isn't "Newman" 6 letters?
Mum: Well, it cahn't be "Newman" because "Newman" doesn't have an "H." He must say something else because the "H" is for "Humid" because it's a 5-letter word that means "hot and damp."
Me:
Mum: Wait a minute. Unless the other word is "Muggy." In which case, that works. All right, it's "Newman."

*sigh*