This is so hard to write, even tho it was inevitable. The vet had given Maggie 2 months to live, and she outlived her expiration date by 5 weeks. So I had 3 months to extra-love and care for her.
Maggie's Last Day with Me
On Saturday, I heard Maggie get up in the middle of the night and throw up. I got up, cleaned it up and we both went back to sleep. Then she woke me again around 5a, so I stayed up. In the mornings we have a ritual; I get up and pet her good morning and then go brush my teeth. She follows me, where she sits in the middle of the hallway outside the bathroom. Then she follows me to the kitchen and gets a drink of water while I make tea. I turn on our morning music, a compilation of French accordion music I got from Target a few weeks ago. Then we go outside; she down the ramp and I sit and drink my tea. But yesterday she just stayed in the bedroom. So I brought water in for her and gave her some homeopathic lycopodium to settle her tummy & Perelandra's Snap Pea flower essence. She didn't throw up after that, but she was lethargic. So she just lay on her bed and I putzied around in my office.
She was panting a bit & would drink if I brought water to her, but she wasn't all that interested. My vet had given me her cell number, so I called her. She was in NC but coming back late Saturday night and would come to the house first thing Sunday morning. She said it sounded like Maggie might be getting ready to go but that it may be helpful to give her some more subcutaneous fluids.
I checked in on Maggie and she was asleep, so I went to get the subcutaneous stuff ready. Then I turned the light on and realized that Maggie wasn't sleeping, she had slipped away in her sleep. But I wasn't sure. She was still warm. I couldn't tell if she was breathing, so I help a mirror up to her nose. Nothing. I called Brother Atlasta and he came over.
I never buried the others. They were cremated at the vet. But I decided that I wanted to have a place for her. So she's off to the side of the yard, where she would often look out. I called my Mormon friends and they came right over with shovels to dig. Brother Atlasta went home for his shovel and chiro-sis came over. It's all such a blur.
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| Brother Atlasta with Elders Newman & Corey. who have to wear suits for everything. I could hear Atlasta telling them about his Cambiando Vidas D.R. trip with Mum and digging the house foundation and septic all by hand. |
Brother Atlasta carried Maggie out from the bedroom, wrapped in a towel, and we buried her. I asked the Mormons if they wanted to say something Bibley and Elder Corey said, "Ashes to ashes, dust to dust. That sounds pretty Bibley." I said that my favourite quote was by Anatole France:
"Until one has loved an animal, a part of one's soul remains unawakened."
Daniel suggested planting a
dogwood tree over her grave, which I thought was a sweet idea. But then I thought that I'd like to do forsythia for her. It was her favourite at the River House:
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| Millie and Maggie nestled under the forsythia. |
I have all these pictures from this week, so I'll leave you with Maggie's last week:
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| Maggie used to bark at the door to go out, but sometimes she would just plop down. |
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| Silhouette of Maggie & Tabby Bobcat. |
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| Tabby has mastered sitting on top of the wicker cushions. |
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| Hullo. |
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| Nephew Rowan came for a vizzie. I had just gotten the grey mat that Maggie's lying on. One for the kitchen, LR, & 2 in my bedroom. So that she wouldn't slip on the floor. Also easier to clean up that carpet. |
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| Chiro-sis came over & helped me pull up the carpet in my bedroom. Maggie came to see what all the furniture moving was about and then plopped down across the threshold. |
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| Sweet afternoon with Maggie. I got new porch furniture and we were sitting out there. |
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| Such an expressive face. |
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| Tabby on the ramp, close by. Brother Atlasta said to me, as Tabby went up the ramp, "Are you going to leave the ramp up for the lazy cat?" Hahahaha |
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| Zzzzz . . . . |
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| My sweet Maggie. LOVE you so much. |
I'm so grateful for Brother Atlasta & Elders Newman & Corey for all their hard work, and to chiro-sis. I'm especially grateful to AARF for giving me a chance with Maggie & Millie. I knew when I first saw their photo on Petfinder that they were mine, for however long. They both stayed with me longer than I ever thought they would, and for that I am grateful. I'm grateful for John Morgan, who has helped me thru the deaths of Barkley, Remi, Millie & now Maggie. And I am grateful for the love I feel for all my sweet dogs, even as I mourn them. I remember the LOVE.
