This video popped up in my feed--new favourite song!
Sunday, May 28, 2023
Monday, May 1, 2023
This is not going to be a cheery post. I am not feeling very cheerful; the opposite, in fact. I am feeling sorry for myself and I'm just going to accept that it is how I'm feeling right now. Not to be a Debbie Downer, but I have spent the last month in a constant migraine cycle. April was nothing but RAIN or impending rain or wind or shifting barometric pressure from high to low. One full day of sun, I think. I don't know. I am weary and worn out.
I woke up thinking that having migraines is like being in an abusive relationship. But now I think it's more like having an abusive boss from the corporate office. I don't know when he'll show up to ruin my day, my plans, my life. I don't know how long he'll be there--just for the day or the whole week? Will he usurp my weekend? I don't know how badly I'll be beaten up or if it will just be a low-grade stress and pressure while I'm just trying to get through my day. I don't know how long it will take to recover after he leaves. The only thing I know for sure is that he is always there in the background. Having migraines is like a fulltime job that I pay for and that I can't quit. And everything works around it: my home, my work, my relationships, my life.
And so then I try to placate the "boss" to make him go away or better yet, prevent him from showing up. I bargain: maybe if I stop eating gluten-sugar-bacon. I should eat more greens and phytonutrients. I should be vegan. No, I should be raw vegan.
No, you need an ancestral diet. Paleo is the way to go.
Have you tried Keto? It's the new Paleo.
Have you tried Carnivore? That's the true ancestral diet.
I should stop drinking coffee because caffeine is bad. No, wait, caffeine is good because it helps to constrict the blood vessels in the head. It improves the efficacy of medications. No it's bad because it's a bean and has lectins! Switch to tea--but not black tea, green tea. That's healthier. No wait: NO tea! Because: OXALATES!
I don't eat grains or legumes or nightshades or nuts or seeds--because: gluten, lectins, oxalates. I also don't eat ruminant animal products, including dairy, and my beloved BUTTER, because I have Alpha-Gal.
I don't eat food dyes or additives, processed foods or artificial anything. Things labeled "natural" are also suspicious. I got called "racist" because I said I don't eat Chinese food because MSG gives me migraines. I also don't eat taco seasoning or fast food; none of which makes me racist or anti-American for that matter.
"MSG reactions are just a myth and it is safe to ingest." Thanks Dr. Random, prolly paid by the food industry. My occiput and body beg to differ. Medical gaslighting, much?
I've been asked, "Have you tried __________?"
- Balancing your chakras?
- Vision boards?
- Massage therapy?
- Trigger point therapy?
- Regular therapy?
- I'm ditsy.
- I'm spacey.
- I'm stupid.
- I'm lazy.
- I'm irresponsible.
- I'm unreliable & undependable.
- have more discipline.
- have more willpower.
- "build habits like a monk." Yes. Direct quote.
- Sorry I cancelled ______.
- Sorry I missed ______.
- Sorry I can't go to the ________.
- Sorry I'm a bit hazy, what did you say?
- Sorry I don't remember. Yes, you just said it. Yes, I forget. Yes we talked about it yesterday/last week/whenever. No, I don't remember. Ask me when I can think.
- Sorry I can't talk. Words are hard right now.
- Sorry, I'm yawning. It's me, not you. No really, it's a symptom in the prodrome phase of migraines.
- Sorry I offended you. It really is a symptom and still not about you.
- Sorry. Sorry. Sorry.
- I have a history of head & jaw injuries (structural).
- Weather: sudden temperature changes, increase or decrease of barometric pressure, or windy days are a guarantee that I'm in migraine territory.
- Bad dental work: caps not filed down enough that offset my jaw for years.
- Toxic mold exposure.
- Multiple chemical sensitivities.
- They aren't measuring or gaging the right thing.
- Just because it doesn't show up on a test, doesn't mean it doesn't exist. Before blood tests and scans became the standard for treatment, doctors actually had to listen to their patients and pay attention to their symptoms. Tests weren't the sole provider of information.
- The person reading them doesn't know what they're not seeing. "I see nothing wrong, therefore you're normal and healthy."
The Bed Battle between Beagle & Bobcat: