I went to take a tour. I opened the door and was met with pounding music and sweaty people on eliptical-treadmill-stairclimber contraption thingies.
I consoled myself with the knowledge that the classrooms were upstairs away from the noise.
The sales dude met me and asked me what my "fitness goals" were as we sat in his fluorescent-lit cubby. I told him I was only interested in yoga classes. He told me I would get 3 free sessions with a personal trainer. "I'm here to take yoga classes. I don't want to lift weights. I don't want to be on any machines. I just want to take classes."
After we established that I was there to take yoga classes, he took me for a tour. He pointed out all the machines that I would be ignoring on my way to classes as we made our way to our first stop of the tour: the Beefcake Vein-Popping Muscle Room of Sweaty Dudes. Ew.
Here's a lesson in sales: when someone says they want X, don't give them the flippin' opposite.
This was before the whole Crossfit craze, because I'm sure they prolly have a Tractor Room or something by now.
Please. At last we walk toward a classroom . . . aaaaaaand pass right on by to the tanning booths.
"Your first session is free and we sell packages." Now I think he's just messing with me. Is he looking at my pasty white skin and thinking, Forget yoga! This woman needs a tan.
Last stop of the tour: classrooms. That's all I wanted. But, upon reflection, more this:
And less this:
I know there are people who actually like gyms. They find it a place of motivation. They like some 'roid-popping drill sergeant barking at them.
Perhaps I exaggerate. Perhaps more like this:
Does it say, "WORK SMARTER" on the back of that sweaty shirt? |
Part of the value of Know Thyself is knowing what works for you--and what doesn't. A gym doesn't make me want to move my body and be healthy. It makes me want to escape. There is a sensory overload of bright lights and loud noises and smells that is too much for me.
What I did like to do was take hikes through the woods or go for walks down to the river. I took dance classes for years. Mum would say, "Well, you're not the most energetic person in the world," and that I was the "non-athletic" one in the family. What it took me years to realize was that I was non-athletic by her definition, and that hating team sports and noisy gyms didn't mean I was lazy. I also realized that she discounted anything that she herself wasn't good at. Ballet? Yoga? Pfft.
This all came to the forefront as I saw Evan Carmichael's recent video You Will NEVER BE LAZY AGAIN! I would hallucinate that this is what motivates Evan Carmichael and that there's some sort of association to being called lazy. There were comments from viewers like, "This is pure motivation." Really?
To paraphrase a famous Jerry McGuire line:
You exhaust me.
I don't see this as motivational, I see a bunch of dudes barking at their audiences. It's the macho attitude of "sleep when you're dead" as if it's the only way to have a growth mindset.
Growth and creation don't have to be so frenetic--or loud. Take a cue from Nature: A dandelion can grow thru a sidewalk. Things come in seasons. Even Nature rests with Winter. Take that, anti-sleepers!
Contrast this approach with Jim Kwik in a video with the same title of "You Will Never Be Lazy Again."
Notice that he doesn't raise his voice and he actually advocates for sleep. As Bonnie Tsui reminds us, you are doing something important when you aren't doing anything.
And finally, you want to know the most efficient way to do something? Ask someone who's "lazy."
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