Emotional Math

If you loved yourself half as much as I do, it would be twice as much as you do.

This phrase came to me as I was thinking of a conversation with a friend. She'd given herself a good flogging for behaviour she didn't like in herself. Behaviour that seemed innocuous to me--perhaps because I do it too?

Do you beat yourself up so others won't beat you to the punch?

Part of changing a behaviour is just noticing it. Then what? Once it's brought to conscious awareness you get to choose. One thing I'm asking myself these days is:

Are you enjoying yourself?

If you are, accept it and revel in it. Eat the bowl of ice-cream without the guilt. It tastes better. If you're not, then the question is:

What do you want instead?

Guilt & shame add a layer of emotional frosting that keep the patterned behaviour in place. It guarantees that we'll be eating that cake in the future because what we feel shame about, we try to hide. Sometimes we hide it so well that we're not aware of it ourselves. That's denial.

We keep secrets because we think others will think less of us. The truth is that you are worthy of love just because you are.

Quote-of-the-Day

This was going to be a lively discussion on the value of throwing caution to the wind and splitting a few infinitives and ending sentences with propositions-I-mean-prepositions. Come on, Mum. Live on the wild side! ;-) However, I love John's post today, and it's much more elegant than anything I can slap up here today. Here's a taste:

Many people misinterpret Self-Acceptance. You will know these people by this phrase, “That’s just the way I am.” No, that’s just the way your ego wants to stay.
True Self-Acceptance has you accept all the flaws, not justify them. When you start accepting the present and the reality it shows you, then and only then are you on the fast track to a strategy that opens the door to metamorphosis. You are on the pathway to a new you.

You may begin to become curious and read the whole thing. :-) H.