Feline Friday

"Feline Friday?!" you may be asking. And some of you with a proper-English-accent might may also be saying, "You cahn't have Feline Friday if you have Tabby Tuesday." But I don't have Tabby Tuesday--I had ONE Tabby Wednesday but was reprimanded by the Alliteration Police that it should be Tabby Tuesday. Well, Tabby Bobcat cares nothing of the Alliterati, because she's busy doing what she does 23 hours a day:

Zzzzzzz . . . .

Huh?  Wha? AGAIN with the clicky-flashy thing?

Zzzzzz . . . .

Mum Vizzie

I have about 2 months before I move and so I have been cleaning-purging-packing. One of the things I've been dreading the most is the garage. Ugh. When I first moved here, I was down there a lot because I had my art studio set up, along with carpet, my wicker furniture--it was pretty swanky.  But I've not spent a lot of time there in the last coupla years & the space has become more of a catch-all for stuff. STUFF. Anyway, Mum has been nagging encouraging me to tackle the garage & when she offered to help, I was relieved but also trepidatious. She's so organized, and we know I'm a spreader.

So she came over this past Wednesday. We had tea before, and I showed her an episode of America's Messiest Home before we started to clean--you know, just for contrast:

Webster's Dictionary is going to use this photo to illustrate HORROR.

Then for added measure, I showed her an episode of Hoarders. This was a good episode, and by "good" I mean disgusting. Janet, a retired nurse, was living without plumbing or heat. Her house was FILLED with not just stuff, but trash. She climbed over it to get to her chair (kinda like the one Mum is sitting in) where she said she didn't really need heat because she stayed warm under 7 blankets. When they asked about the plumbing, she said she went outside where it was "private." But as she's saying this, the camera is panning to the urine-filled bottles strewn along the mountain of stuff. Oh, but it gets worse. Because, then you're thinking, What about Number 2? When her son goes to investigate, he steps on a plastic bag and it breaks open. No, not a diaper. Just a bag. Of poo. Eeeewwwww!  And then Janet blames the flimsiness of the bag. Yes, it's the bag's fault. Stoopid bag for breaking.

Then we had lunch. Kidding. We ate before Pee Bottle Nurse. And then we went down to the garage. Suddenly, my clutter wasn't looking so bad. And we cleared it out in an afternoon. Done & done! And Mum even said, "This isn't so bad."  Hahahaha  THANKS, Mum!  I couldn't have done it without you!

Funny Friday: Convo with Mum

Hurricane Earl Convo
Me: Are you keeping track of the hurricane?
Mum: Oh, that's just on the east coast.
Me: You do know we live on the east coast.
Mum: Well, when I think of coast, I think of the actual coast.
Me:
Mum: Like the ocean.
Me:
Mum: Like in North Carolina.
Me: Well we're spozed to be in for some rain.
Mum: Oh!
Me: Time to fill the bath tub with water.
Mum: Do you have fans?
Me: Fans?
Mum: You know. In case the power goes out.
Me: Um . . .
Mum: You'll be very hot without the AC.
Me: But if the power goes out, how would fans help? They need electricity.
Mum: [laughter]

Yoga Convo
Let me preface this by saying that Mum has always been v. active & athletic. She goes to the gym & "pumps iron" regularly. Not to mention that last Saturday she was participating in a black belt promotion. But when she told me she was going to try a new yoga class at the gym . . . well,  yoga is a bit . . . sedate. But she promised to call after class with a report.

Mum: I just cahn't tie my body into a pretzel. It just won't go where it's supposed to go.
Me: Yeah, I was wondering how you'd like it.
Mum: Well, I can do the standing things. The warrior pose, that's all right. But I don't like getting on the floor.
Me: The floor?
Mum: Yes, you know. Lying on my back, trying to do the archy things.
Me: The archy things.
Mum: Yes. But I must say, for something that goes so slowly, you really feel like you've had a workout. My legs just won't bend that way.

And yes, she's going back for another class.

HAPPY B-Day Mum!!!

Saturday was Mum's birthday & all the sibs & kids celebrated at her house. Brother D & I picked out Taylor Swift cards together . . . 

Here's Brother D's, which he picked out right away:

When he was getting the card, he rubbed it against other sparkley cards to enhance the sparkliness. Guess you had to be there. I didn't want to take too much time, so I just grabbed this one & revised it. Here's Mum with my card:

Got the laugh I was looking for!

HAPPY Birthday, Mum!

Make a wish! (Pioneer Sister's famous chocolate cake!)

Queen Anne

Mum is now in Poland to do a Habitat build. You may recall her build in Hungary. So she's off to do another one. She bought her own hat because she said she doesn't want to wear someone else's sweaty hat. Eeewwww!

Mum models her hat. I'm sure it'll get graffitied with "Queen Anne."

I found a 4-leaf clover for good luck for Mum:

Mum said, "Really? How do you DO that?!" Good luck, Mum!

Mum waves good-bye.

Mum Post

You may remember my post about Mum and the VLC (Very Large Creature) living under her house. Yesterday I was at her house having proper tea, and I heard . . . something. It sounded like a baby something and it was scratching around the access panel in the hallway.

Me: Listen. Do you hear that?
Mum: What?
[scritchy-scratching noise with a bit of a baby-cry]
Me: That.
Mum: I don't hear anything.
Me: It's coming from the access panel. [walking over] It's a baby. Poor thing.
Mum:
Me: We should let it out. [examining screws-of-permanence on access panel]
Mum: [insert eye roll & pursed lips] We cahn't let it out. That door is screwed shut.
Me: We can unscrew it.
Mum: Then what?

Well. I had a whole scheme to capture the baby VLC, but then Mum said: "Well, it's got a mother down there!" Then we didn't hear it crying anymore so Mama VLC must've rescued Baby. I was telling (XM) Radio Guy this story last night and he said, "This sounds like another episode of The Hali Chambers Show." Hahahaha

I'm taking Mum to the airport today. She's off to Poland for a Habitat build. She's taking a break from Brother D's kitchen. Haha

M&M Monday

I vacuum every coupla days. I do it while the girls are on the porch or in the kitchen. They don't have any kind of vacuum anxiety, tho. Remi used to see the vacuum and leave the room. Saturday, I actually vacuumed around the dogs! And finally they got up so I could vacuum where they were sitting.

I threw both beds together and Millie claimed them before I could put the other one back.

"Hahahaha. Mine. "

This doesn't look all too exciting. In fact, when I was looking at this photo of Maggie, I was wondering why I took it. But look closely, she took my slipper and has her foot over it.

"Hahahaha. Mine. "

Here are the girls coming down the ramp. They always stop and look at the road across the river. It's also where the train goes by.

Typical pic of Maggie plopped down:

Back up the ramp.

Mum came to visit on Saturday:

Mum says hello to Millie.

Mum: Which one is this? Is this the one with the dots?
Me: No. That's Millie. Maggie has the dots.
Mum: Well, this one has dots, too.
Me: Maggie's dots are a bit more prominent.
Mum: But this one still has dots.
Me:
Mum: Well, she does!
Me: [sigh]

"As soon as you get the photo of me smiling, can I stop touching her?"

Thanks for being a good sport, Mum. I know you're stretching yourself outside your comfort zone. And in light coloured trousers, too! :-)

Mum post

Mum told me she has something BIG in the crawlspace under her house. It chewed a hole through the access door outside. She closed the door and blocked it with a brick but the Creature moved it. She said it was scratching against the plumbing panel in the hallway. So she has blocked it from coming in!

Take that! Hairy Beast!

I was there on Saturday & it was running under the house. We've narrowed it down to groundhog, opossum, or raccoon. Whatever it is, it sounds BIG!

We spent the afternoon together and then I got back home on Saturday night. I downloaded my pix onto her computer & sent them to myself so that I could do some blogposts. I managed to escape before she printed out the Washington Post crossword puzzle.

I called her when I got home, an hour-ish later. I may have mentioned Crossword Hell with Mum before. Just for the record, I'm not a fan. Crosswords require an auditory skill that I don't possess. But every once in a while Mum asks me a question & I know the answer. And then begins the badger-festival-of-words. So now I have a rule: only one question.

Mum: You'll know this; it's a Seinfeld question.
Me: OK, I prolly do.
Mum: What does Jerry say when he's angry?
Me: Newman!

She begins sweetly enough, but then here it comes:

Mum: NO! It's 6 letters and it goes blank-blank-blank-H-blank-blank.
Me: Well . . . I dunno, then. That's what he says. And isn't "Newman" 6 letters?
Mum: Well, it cahn't be "Newman" because "Newman" doesn't have an "H." He must say something else because the "H" is for "Humid" because it's a 5-letter word that means "hot and damp."
Me:
Mum: Wait a minute. Unless the other word is "Muggy." In which case, that works. All right, it's "Newman."

*sigh*

And she's off to the Domican Republic

I'm taking Mum out for dinner tonight & then I'll be taking her to the airport tomorrow morning. At 3 a.m.--not even the crack of dawn! Lest you think she'll be sunning herself on the beach, sipping a margarita--and loyal readers of this blog will know that's a joke--she'll be doing this:

Because that's the kind of thing she does when she travels. No ordinary vacations for her. And this time, Queen Anne is co-leading the build for Cambiando Vidas. And this time, she's roped my brother into joining. So now I don't have to go. ;-) Thanks, Bro!

Gluten Free Goodness

I told Mum to hold it out like fishermen do when
they have their picture taken with a fish. Look
at those HUGE loaves!

I used to have tea and toast every morning for breakfast. I would eat half a loaf in a sitting, that's how much I loved it. And then I had to go gluten free, and that killed the whole bread thing. It's been over 2 years since I had real bread. During that time I have eaten sawdust, gritty cardboard, or chewy mush. All these things claimed to be GF "bread." Even the ones that are edible, just aren't like real bread. I put up with it because it's GF & it's better than nothing. Except when it's not. So then I just don't eat sandwiches & other normal bready things.

Composer Brother gave me a subscription to Living Without, an awesome magazine for people with food allergies. This weekend, Mum gave a try with one of the bread recipes. I had a REAL sandwich! The texture, the taste--it's like real bread. Here's the recipe to Champion Sandwich Bread. Thanks to Diane Kittle for bringing back toast & sandwiches, and thanks to Mum for GF baking! :-)

Sycamore Crash

I was walking to my postbox yesterday morning, when I saw this:

Poor tree!

I called Neighbor Dave & he moved it out of the way. This is not the first tree that has crashed down. Of course, if I were Mum, I would have happened upon it in the dark, when it was raining. And I would have whipped out my travel chainsaw to stack it neatly by the road for my winter firewood. ;-)

In Honour of Mum

It Mum's birthday today.

She is sprinkled throughout this blog with life lessons. She's been mother & wife:

She travels to faraway places & sends hilarious emails.

Hand-stitched with dental floss.

Mum is not sentimental and she loathes nick-knacks. One birthday, I gave her this hideous "What-a-mother-means"plaque:

On the back of it, I taped a Lowe's gift card; v. practical. Like Mum. Here she is with Atlasta, a.k.a. Brother D, Area Man:

She is grandmother:

Unspecified grandchild receive GranAnne smooch!

Construction worker. She really does change lives:

Queen Anne in Hungary for Habitat.

Animal Tolerator:

"Yes, you're very sweet. Now go away."

I cherish our not-meaning-to-be-funny conversations, where she ends it with, "Oh, shut up," in that v. proper Queen's English accent:

At Mum's Dinner Dance.

Blow out your candles,

Pioneer Sister's famous chocolate cake!

and Make a WISH!!!

HAPPY Mother's Day

She's British and a nurse. We grew up with Stiff Upper Lip Syndrome in doubley. Her answer to all-things-bleeding was the butterfly stitch (band-aids with little triangle shapes cut out). I wore a box of band-aids on my chin when I landed on a cinder block with my chin when I was 12. One time she had to do actual stitches on Brother D. She gave him a washcloth to bite on and when he said it hurt, she told him to "just think of England." That's our family joke, now. So, this is the card I got for Mum.




BNO? Mum calls us all her Blessings, & I'm Blessing Number One.

And here's a Cakewrecks-inspired cake I saw in Walmart in honour of M-Day:

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY to anyone who is a mother or has ever had one. :-) H.

Easter Pix

Sign on the way to Pioneer Sister's:

NOT-SO-SECRET NOW.

Pioneer Sister's very own creek.

So this next pic has a bit of a STORY:

I like to knit. Scarves. I've never gone beyond that except when a scarf turned into a blanket. Mum said that there was more to knitting than scarves and that I should be graduated to a sweater. She got some purple yarn for me and a pattern. I started to do it but I wasn't casting on right. Your stitches are too loose. Here, let me help you with that. [and by "help" she meant do for me] Then I missed some knitting or pearled when I shouldn't have. Here, let me help you with that. So she redid. The next thing I know, she's knitted the first 3 inches. OK, now try the next bit. Well . . . it sat there and I left it behind when I back to my house. I thought I'd get to it eventually . . .

Apparently not:

Well, you know I've done this pattern so many times, I thought I'd do something different with it, Mum said when she gave it to me. WOW! A labyrinth sweater!!! So what's v. funny about this sweater is that it's a finger labyrinth. Which kind of invites people to trace it with their fingers. Which Pioneer Sister's kids kept trying to do. Hahahaha THANKS, Mum!

Changing Lives: Mum's Trip

Have tools, will travel. Photo above of Mum's friend Charlie who invited her to the Dominican Republic and then didn't go! Come on, Anne. All the COOL people are going. Apparently not! ;-)

This is the house they build. 750 square feet, with electricity & cold running water! It takes 4 1/2 days to build. Mum said she's never worked so hard in her life--which if you know Mum, means something! The whole community comes together to build these houses. The family that moved into Mum's build came from 250 square feet of no plumbing or electric. They have nothing and they have everything, says Mum. No daycare centers, no nursing homes, and everyone dances.


This is the finished house. It costs $8000 to build. Cambiando Vidas translates to "Changing Lives." WOW. Mum is already planning a trip back in November & has invited me along. Time to learn me some Spanish & pump some iron.

Day of Rest: Welcome Home

I'm picking up Mum from the airport v. late tonight. She's returning from her trip to the Dominican Republic & I'm looking FW to hearing all her adventures of pouring concrete and juggling cinder blocks. I hadn't heard from her until yesterday when I got a rather cryptic email telling me that yes, indeed she had arrived & that everything was on schedule for her flight back to the States.
In our fam we grew up with Bird's custard--far superior to vanilla pudding! You cahn't make a PROPER trifle without it! Recently I found a resource for PG Tips, the BEST tea. British Delights also has all foods British--because you know, that's what the Brits are known for. Hahahaha So I ordered the custard as well and it came in these econo-canisters. But look what it says on the side:

See? PROPER.

So as I was editing this post again, Mum called! She's at the Santa Domingo airport and her flight is delayed due to snow in Atlanta. She said they built a 2-bedroom house in 4 1/2 days & that she's never worked so hard in her life. If you know Mum, that is beyond superhero proportions. She said that when she sent her email, there were all these keys that she had no idea how to work on the computer. "I recognized about 10," she said. Hahahaha See you soon, Mum!

LOVE YOU

Quote-of-the-day and . . . .

Mum models the sweater that she'll never knit again! You start at the sleeve and knit it from there. No seams or pieces. V. impressive!

I've been staying at Mum's this week. We have a fierce wind going on that started last night. Fierce! And a sideways rain that washed my car so I don't have to. Mum is out the door at 5 a.m. and called me from work later.

Mum: Hi dahling, I don't know if you're going out today, but I just wanted to call and let you know there's a tree blocking the road.
Me: How did you get out then?
Mum: Well, you just have to drive through the field. Of course it was dark and I had to back up aaaaaaaaaaaall the way up the road. But perhaps you'll be able to see if it's still there in the daylight.

OK, then. I of course made a joke about her moving the tree herself. Quote-for-the-day:

Mother love is the fuel that enables a normal human being to do the impossible. Marion C. Garretty

In this purely for the laughs

I'm at Mum's helping with Pioneer Sister's kiddliewinks. Convo on the way home last night:

Nephew #2: Hey! I see penis!
Little Sis: Penis?
Nephew: Hehhh . . . . not penis. Venus!

Sounded like penis to me. Glad he clarified. Hahahaha

Mum got a new desk chair and saved the big box for the kids to play in. It's a house, it's a spaceship, it's a . . . . bed? I was looking for Nephew #1. There he was, curled up in the box with the flaps closed up.

Me: Oh, there you are. What are you doing?
Nephew: I'm going to bed in the box. Now go away.
Me: OK.

A few minutes later, Mum is standing there talking to the box. You need to come out and get ready for bed . . . blah blah blah . . . brush your teeth . . . blah blah blah . . .

I look over to the guest room and there is Nephew safely tucked away in bed.

Me: Um, Mum.
Mum: [to the box] You need to come out of the box. [to me] What?
Me: He's not in the box anymore.
Mum: Ohhhhhh . . . [eye roll]

Nephew this a.m. said to Little Sis: Hey! Don't you know that when I'm in the box you're not supposed to push against it?

That's right. We don't like it when other people challenge our boxes. Today we're going for a hike and then it's off to see a Charlie Brown Musical. Fun times!

Convo with Mum

So yesterday Mum called me.

Mum: Do you remember Bill McPorter? [not his real name]
Me: Ruth’s friend from school?
Mum: No.
Me: Oh, he was an acolyte at church?
Mum: No, he went to the karate studio.
Me:
Mum: He was a black belt?
Me:
Mum: Well, anyway. He died.
Me: Sorry to hear that?
Mum: Would you like to go to the VHCS dance at the country club with me on Saturday?
Me: Is it formal?
Mum: Well, you do have to get gussied up. You have something to wear, I’m sure.
Me: I pretty much gussy down. But I’ll look.
Mum: I have to go to Bill’s funeral before that, I don’t suppose you’d want to go to that . . .
Me: Is it open casket? Oh….Now I remember you . . . sorry you’re dead.
No, I think I’ll stick with the dance.

Sounds like a Larry David episode, doesn’t it?

NOT Ordinary

I'm taking Mum to the airport today for her trip to the Orkney Islands to visit my cousin. She just got new luggage and wanted to do something besides the red ribbon that everyone else ties onto their suitcases. She was so taken with her friend Jack's Habitat for Humanity T-shirt that we used that. I took a picture of it and printed it onto a T-shirt transfer. Simple, right? Except it wouldn't stick. So we transferred it onto a cotton pillow case to glue it. It wouldn't glue. So Mum sewed it on. With dental floss. That did the trick!

Hey, everyone! I'm Queen Anne & this is MY suitcase!


We call this the dental floss blanket stitch. She tried it out on a smaller suitcase first before this one. However, she'll go back and redo it because she rounded out the corners with this one. It's killing you that they don't match, isn't it? I asked. She just gave me that Oh, Shut up! LOOK. You know the one.

There is so much that I admire about my mother. One is her spirit for adventure. Long before Nike ever came up with the slogan, Mum has lived a Just Do It life. And yet.

She thinks she's just ordinary. Ordinary?! This came to light when I asked if I could read her letters that she had written as a young woman living out in the Yukon. Oh, I threw those away.

WHAT????

She thinks no one would be interested in a young woman living in the arctic wilderness in 1961 working with Eskimos where she met my chiropractor father. They weren't Eskimos, they were Indians. Whatev, Mum! Quit throwing away the family history! But it's not just that, it's all the other things she does that she takes for granted: amazing multi-tiered, wedding cakes that taste good. She routinely reupholsters furniture. She sews, knits, hangs drywall, and sings in the church choir. She has inspired generations of nursing students. She has mentored midwives and brought 2000 babies into the world. She raised us living in a dome. Ordinary?

One person's ordinary is another person's unique.