19 Ways to Maintain a Healthy Level of Insanity

Received this in a FW this a.m. and I laughed out loud. Perhaps, you will, too. Thanks, John.

1. At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.
2. Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice.
3. Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.
4. Put your garbage can on your desk and label it ‘In’.
5. Put Decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks, and once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addiction, switch to Espresso.
6. In the Memo field of all your checks, write ‘For smuggling diamonds’.
7. Finish all your sentences with ‘In accordance with the Prophecy’.
8. Don’t use any punctuation.
9. As often as possible, skip rather than walk.
10. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face.
11. Specify that your drive-through order is ‘To Go’.
12. Sing along at the opera.
13. Go to a poetry recital and ask people there why the poems don’t rhyme.
14. Put mosquito netting around your work area and play tropical sounds all day.
15. Five days in advance, tell your friends you can’t attend their party because you’re ‘not in the mood’.
16. Have your co-workers address you by your wrestling name, “Rock Bottom”.
17. When the money comes out the ATM, scream ‘I won! I won!’
18. When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot, yelling ‘Run for your lives! They’re loose!’
19. Tell your children over dinner, ‘Due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go’.

FW: Tag You're It

My friend Jane sent this to me, so I'm posting it here.

Two names you go by: Only 2? That's a whole blog post in itself: The story of my name. But for now: Mum calls me "Blessing Number One" & my fam calls me Hal.

Two things you are wearing right now: a tiara and a SMILE. hahaha

Two of your favorite things to do: Read and laugh....What's the deal with listing "2 things?" A feng shui person would hallucinate that the author of this is married...but I digress...

Things you want badly at this moment: World peace...and organic milk for my tea, because *sigh* I'm drinking evaporated from my Mormon Pantry.

Two Pets you had/have: Barkley & Remi, my 2 labweilers.

Two things you did last night: Watched The Next Great American Band (GO Clark Brothers!!!) & I knitted (FABULOUS scarf). It was a rockin' Friday night.

Two things you've eaten today: DSF adrenal support (YUM--no, really, bleh) and Total Green drink (v. YUMMY). There's your Brimhall reference for the day. ;-)

Two people you last talked to: John Morgan & a radio station gal in Indiana.

Two things you're doing tomorrow: Oh, I could make up all sorts of things! Refinish furniture, tile the bathroom (yeah, THAT'S happening)...but I'll prolly work on Xmas gifts and an ornament for Ornament Thursday.

What were your longest car rides: across America when I was 6, but the longest ones haven't been in geographical distance.

Favorite holiday: Only one? I LOVE holidays and birthdays and celebrations! Thanksgiving (Gathering of the fam without the Gift Pressure), Christmas (LOVE the lights!) and 4th of July(ooohhhh, aaahhh fireworks!) are some of my faves. Along with Beltane. hahaha

Two favorite beverages: Celestial Seasonings Teahouse Chai, and water from my tap. No, really. It's SO good! You wouldn't believe it. It tastes like Fiji. And that's all I drink.

Well. This has been fun. LOVE to Jane and all my friends back in West-by-God-Virginny!

P.S. XM Radio Guy's show is on tonight: Lucy XM channel 54 at 9 p.m. EST. What will tonight's cheap give-away be? Tune in to find out!

P.P.S. I just read today's blog post at Grasshopper Notes. AWESOME!