I've been thinking about the difference between feedback and criticism since I've been watching The Next Great American Band. Tonight is another episode and another band will go home. There are some great musicians on this show (personal faves 6wire & The Clark Brothers) and it's interesting to watch the judges give feedback and the response from the bands and the audience. And then John Morgan had a great blog post yesterday on this theme called "Burst of Air."
Not that I want to get all L. Ron Hubbard and create my own Dictionary-of-Definitions, BUT this is the distinction I make between criticism and feedback, because I don't think they mean the same thing.
The word criticism, even if it's "constructive," has a negative connotation. Nobody likes to be criticized. It implies that you've done something wrong and it usually comes within the framework of an emotionally charged situation. Criticism doesn't offer solutions and often is taken as an attack, not just on a behaviour, but on the person. The first definition in Webster's for criticize is 1.) "to find fault with; censure." THEN 2.) to "judge or discuss the merits of; evaluate" and THEN 3.) "to judge unfavorably or harshly." I think most people go with options 1 & 3 when thinking of criticism, and who wants to be judged harshly? Think about someone you know who exhibits critical behaviour: are they particularly easy or pleasant to be around? Prolly not.
Feedback, on the other hand, is just that. We get feedback from our environment; a stove is hot, a dog's nose is cold & wet. Dave Dobson tells a wonderful story about how when he was a toddler, he ate a dandelion. And that was his first and last dandelion. Skip the techno-babble and definition about biological processes in Webster's , and feedback is "a reaction or response to a particular process or activity; information derived from such a reaction or response." No judgement, no fault-finding. Feedback is necessary for new learning and new growth and improvement. Feedback from a person can be a suggestion. When I was training in Eric Jensen's Brain-based Learning, we spent a whole day learning how to give directions and feedback. One of the things we did was list at least 3 things that worked in an activity, and then suggest one or two things to try for the next time. They were "opportunities" for improvement; no big deal.
This has something to do with how the brain works. The brain (and your Other-Than-Conscious) is first concerned with safety. Any perceived threat kicks in the fight/flight stress response. So by saying what works, the brain relaxes and is more open to suggestion and doesn't go into defense mode. Unless....
a person isn't open to suggestions or feedback and it's all perceived as criticism. As Michael Gerber says in The E Myth, failed businesses are led by people who spend more time defending what they're doing, than learning new things to make their business grow and evolve. This can be on a personal level. We all know people who take things way too personally and view any suggestion as an attack. And that's useful feedback in itself. There are certain people I don't say anything to because, really-- why bother? They could take a page from don miguel ruiz's Four Agreements, not to take anything personally. So, so hard to do--but WOW. What a difference.
So, back to The Next Great American Band: one of the judges, John Rzeznik from the Goo Goo Dolls gives really great feedback. Feedback, not criticism. And he'll start off with, "You guys were great. You did X, Y, & Z. The only suggestion I have is that you...." But the audience starts booing. Shut up you rude audience! And at one point, John turned to the audience and said something like, "Look, these guys are going to go out into the real world and it's better to hear it from us first." BTW, the bands who have listened to the judges, are still in the running. The Muggs, who agreed with Rude Booing Audience, and Rocket, with their every-song-sounds-the-same, are not.
Who will go home tonight? We shall see...in the meantime, feel free to offer feedback on this post. ;-) H.
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